The Museum of Sudden Disappearances

MUSEUM available as an ebook at Amazon Or, for temporal travelers, PAST IS PRESENT at Amazon.

Monday, September 16, 2013


Movies have soundtracks. Why not a quirky thriller with a soundtrack? With an audio layer, a reader can read, dance, and -- while hearing shouts, skidding tires, growls, howls, and bang-bang-bang  -- duck from danger. Thanks to Booktrack, my thrillers have music and sound effects. Imagine an adrenaline rush with a 4/4 beat.

Story + music + ambience + sound effects = Booktrack, the wonderful new free app available on Google. My time-travel thriller, PAST IS PRESENT, is featured on the new releases.

Sample chapters from both of my novels are posted on Booktrack. You can read and hear THE MUSEUM OF SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCES here, and PAST IS PRESENT here.

A short, instructive (humorous) essay called PHONE JU-JITSU, packed with sound effects, is here. What's it about? Well, it's about the art of telephone self-defense. I share tips regarding how to wrestle, grapple, flip, and do telephone takedowns. I earned a black belt at the Telephone Martial Arts Academy, and am currently ranked third in the world as a phone ju-jitsu master. Until now, I've been sworn to secrecy regarding the dark art of phone judo. But the rising tide of telephone assaults impels me to go public. So this is a PSA - public (dis)service announcement.

telephone fundraiser (top) vs. docile donor (bottom)
(Note the fundraiser's left hand, either reaching for the donor's wallet,
or punching the donor in his sweet spot.)
After reading my tips, you can be...
plucky non-supporter (top) vs. flummoxed phone fundraiser (bottom)

Telephone assault victims are encouraged to post on this blog. Yes, if you've ever been phone-whipped by a telemarketer, you may find this essay helpful on your road to tele-recovery.

Remember, never pout: "Wah wah wah...take me off the list!" That's for weaklings who deserve to be kicked to the curb. Instead, get stoked. Get up in the grill of these slobbering mad dogs and put the judo to them! Yeah, buck up, baby! Pound some ass. GET YOUR PHONE ON!

PS: One final item. Please, this is critical or you may end up destroying your life. Make certain you....oh shit, wait. My phone's ringing. Christ, now who? I gotta go. Later, y'all.

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